Casey, your articles are out of this world. I want to be you when I grow up. I bet you invested 40+ hours into this story.
P.S. I only made it to the middle, but I have a habit of pressing "end" and scrolling to the very bottom of the page. Authors should get maximum read time, and articles like this deserve to go viral.
P.P.S. Which home is the best? I vote for Kanzas!