I get why you’d be astonished by these numbers, but unfortunately, there are places where such debt is unavoidable. I live in Toronto, Canada, and the average price of a house is just over $1,000,000 here. A couple would have to make around $250-300k in income to qualify for it, and some do. They take out a $1 million mortgage and then pay it off within 25 years. As long as they have a decent emergency fund and they manage their finances well, they are fine.

If your friends live in the area where properties appreciate each year, their financial situation isn’t that horrible. That house may be mortgaged, but it could have also appreciated in price over the time. And even if the appreciation isn’t great, you can sometimes spend $50k on renovations and it will give the property a $100-1500k price bump.

So, I agree with you regarding what you said. I would also NOT be spending $45k on a wedding. But mortgage isn’t the worst debt you could have. You have time to pay it off. Credit card debt and student loans though… aren’t great.